I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
