OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
