You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
