theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
