I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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