And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
