weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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