weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize