And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
