Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
