i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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