No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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