im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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