Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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