If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How does it feel to date your dad?
I smell like Dick and happiness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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