It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
