dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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