If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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