is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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