Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
