Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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