Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
