I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
