Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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