WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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