Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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