"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Holy shit dude........stairs
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
