DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
