i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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