I feel like abortions should bother me more
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
