Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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