you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
