I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Mom said you looked used
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
