How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
