Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize