how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
