I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize