I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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