She is in my trunk
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
