I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize