I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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