chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
