D3 body, D1 cock
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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