I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize