idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
