So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
