You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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