i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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