i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
