ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
