If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
