I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
