I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
