South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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