we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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