According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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