I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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