People in love make me want to vomit
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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