im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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