Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
