Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
