My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
