Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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