i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
