I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
