i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize