You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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