So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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