it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
