I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
